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Otherwise known as B4 – Your Being!

In my last blog I shared with you the 4 Bs I use as a (loose!) framework for myself and my clients to uncover where our blocks lie, or what areas need our attention.

I had planned to write this blog about the first B, Your Business. However I am really excited right now about the ‘Your Being’ element, as this is the core of a new programme I am putting together with my colleague Carmen Vesztagrom.

This programme is called Feminine Leaders and it is all about working with fellow spiritual seekers and entrepreneurs to empower us all to become leaders in our field: to step up and be the change in the world. More of that later…

I also decided that ‘Your Being’ was a good place to start because it is the foundation for everything that you do. When you really get to know who you are, what you stand for and what your purpose is then getting your business in line with your values and taking it up to the next level flows so much more smoothly.

Have you noticed that when you hide your skills or you don’t turn up as your authentic self, things tend not to go quite as you had planned or hoped for?

Given all the personal development work I have done on myself, particularly in the last 10 years, you’d have thought that I’d know myself fairly well by now. But what I have become aware of is that sometimes I have been fearful of presenting myself to the world as I truly am and I know I am not alone in that.

We can end up acting out our role as the person everyone else in our lives wants or expects us to be. In fact we respond so strongly to behaving to other people’s expectations, that we completely forget who our authentic self is, how we want to grow, what we want to become, what our gifts are, where our power lies and what we want to share with the world.

I have seen too many women hold themselves back and stop short of taking their message into the world and sharing their knowledge, their wisdom, their experience and their compassion. Some people call this Imposter Syndrome.

Reconnecting with Your Being can involve a variety of approaches depending what your individual story is and what has been impacting you and your spirit. However, there are three fundamental areas that provide the core tools for understanding yourself:

1. Defining and being connected to your Purpose
2. Exploring what beliefs you have about yourself and your capabilities in all four of the B areas (Business, Buddies, Body and Being)
3. Identifying your values – and learning how to use them in your daily life to check that your decisions are in tune with your authentic self.

Your Purpose

In business circles, your purpose is often written out as a description of what you want to achieve and what legacy you want to leave behind. But it is more than that, because it needs to encompass what you are passionate about. It’s what lights you up and as a consequence what also lights up all those around you. To me it is the emotional aspect that drives you forward and helps you to develop your vision of where you want to be in 5, 10, 30 even 50 years time (depending on your age of course!)

Your Beliefs

Wikipedia’s definition of belief is: Belief is the state of mind in which a person thinks something to be the case, with or without there being empirical evidence to prove that something is the case with factual certainty.

Basically, beliefs feel real to you, but they’re not! We could get into a long debate here about the reality and role of beliefs, but for now let’s acknowledge that the way we live our lives is governed by our beliefs which we believe to be true (and sometimes no-one can persuade us otherwise!).

If your beliefs are not empowering you, nor helping to set you on your purposeful path then you will not build the business and life that your soul yearns for. You have to change your beliefs before you can change your life. You need to open your eyes to new possibilities rather than maintain a narrow focus on the world.

It is so much easier to make these changes when someone else shines a light on them and helps you to recognise whether they are serving you or undermining you, rather than trying to identify and amend them yourself. Trust me, I’ve tried and failed without working with a coach myself!

Your Values

Too often when businesses define their core values, they come up with those that they think their business should reflect and that sound good and ethical. How often are values chosen because we think it would be a bit embarrassing if they weren’t chosen? Don’t we all want to be professional, generous, compassionate, inspirational, world-changing etc?!

I have to tell you that I think this is one of the most underutilised tools we have in our tool box.

When you identify your values that really reflect you, that are key to making your business and your life feel fulfilled, then when you actually use these in your business you will find they are extremely effective.

I work with four values (most people have three for some reason!) and when I state my values they give me that tingly feeling all over when you know that something is completely right, like an affirmation that this is what I am meant to be doing. It’s because of what these words mean to me. You might end up with the same or similar words, but they will mean something completely different to you. And by the way they don’t even have to be real words. My clients have come up with some really fun new words that really describe their values.

Of course, the key in all of this is to make sure you actually use your values rather than just write them down on a piece of paper. They will then become one of the most effective decision-making tools you can have.

Having talked about these three aspects of Your Being, I have to say that it is all so much bigger than this! Finding your voice to describe yourself, all your passions and everything that drives you forward gets to the true heart of you.

When you reconnect with your essence you allow yourself to open the doors to becoming the biggest and best version of yourself. Whether your dreams are big or small it really doesn’t matter. It’s making your specific goals and dreams become your reality.

However, I think you’ll be surprised how much you can achieve and how much you will grow when you are back in tune with yourself. There will be no stopping you from having everything that you desire and deserve.

Now is the time to find your voice again, to speak up and to speak out. To acknowledge that your gut instincts are often the best ones to follow, rather than following the herd.

As Oscar Wilde said, “ Be yourself, everyone else is taken”.

And as I say “Find out who you are, what is precious to you and your success will follow. And you’ll have a blast on the journey too!”

Wishing you an awesome week